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number 6

Week 6 was a struggle

I struggled this week. To keep all the balls in the air, to be motivated, to write.

On Wednesday I discovered that I had not been shortlisted for the Doire Press competition, a glimmer in an ever lengthening tunnel. I comfort myself with the adage it wasn’t meant to be, but in truth rejection sucks. It’s hard and sharp, each one chipping away at the semi-hard armour I have acquired since embarking on this writing journey. Rejections make me tired and wonder if it’s all worth it; the sacrifices, the time, the energy, the ego. I’m not going to give in, but it just makes navigation through the winding path harder, and shakes my confidence which has the stability of a card pyramid.

So writing was lean this week, compounded by yet another college assignment that demanded all my free time. I am so looking forward to May and getting my life back.

The script and novel need to be my priority for the next few months. The first is at a juncture that is exciting, but I have no idea what to do with the character now and it’s hard to see past it. I finally managed to jiggle the novel loose and untangle the knot that seemed to be immovable.

Persistence and faith is what I need in bucket loads. Distiller vat loads if that exists. That Oscar isn’t going to win itself!