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number 7

Photo by Clodagh O’Brien

If you’re looking for scandal there isn’t any! His dulcet tones just happened to drown out the noise of fifteen or so 20 odd year olds screeching in my sister’s 21st birthday. She’s the last one to turn 21 in the family. The youngest has finally grown up and it feels like the end of something. The next phase for my parents in their lives and a subtle shift in the family dynamic, although how and what I can’t quite name yet.

This week lead me to a realisation. That it’s not possible to keep everything going. I have to prioritise and live with the fact that writing needs to take a back seat for a while, so I can make sure I keep my job and actually get a qualification from college! Too often I try to keep everything going, push and push until I reach burnout and then nothing works anymore. It is not a good strategy.

The last thing I wanted was for writing to move down my priority list, but it’s more about being clever with the free time I do have. The short film, blog and novel need to be prioritised while everything else will just have to look after itself until summer turns up, hopefully donning a sarong and sunglasses. Saying that if inspiration strikes I’m not going to turn my back. A rare and delicate creature, it needs to be nurtured and cared for.

All of this may sound like common sense, but when you’re in it and trying to make sure all the bases are covered, a bird’s eye view is not that forthcoming. So I am grateful for the realisation and irritated that I have somehow let other things take over. But I guess that’s what this journey is about. It’s a see-saw of trial and error, faith and doubt. I hope with my revised mindset of ‘you can’t do bloody everything’, words and ideas may find their way to me, and if not then be content with sitting patiently in the wings.

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